The Loved Ones (2009)

Prom night can be torture

The Loved Ones 2009 Movie Poster
 

Starring: Xavier Samuel, Robin McLeavy, Victoria Thaine, Jessica McNamee, Richard Wilson

Director: Sean Byrne

Written by: Sean Byrne

Released: September 13, 2009

Budget: $4 million

Box office: $358,399

Distributed: Warner Bros. Pictures

I’ve been putting this movie off for a while now.

I had scheduled to watch and review it for February because obvi❤️ … but I also had some knowledge about the brutality of this film from whispers within the horror community throughout the years so I wasn’t looking forward to it. Not one bit. Torture is not my thing. Body horror is definitely not my thing either. I like a quick stabbing or wacky death like the next normal horror fan. When I can feel the mental anguish from the character who is in torturous, physical pain then I start to feel very uncomfortable…sometimes to the point of nausea. The torture porn craze was never really for me, which is probably why I skipped this film around the time it was released. 

So was I able to get through this movie without flinching and wincing?

Of course not….this movie was gross as fuck!!!

BLEACH IN NECK. KNIVES IN FEET. FINGERS IN MOUTHS. SALT ON WOUNDS. HOLE IN SKULL. BOILING KETTLE WATER.

This movie made me so nauseous 🤢🥴I had to pause at some intensely gross parts and I honestly just wanted to give up…I even drank some water mixed with apple cider vinegar to not feel so sick 🤣the struggle was real. But I think it’s because I psyched myself out before watching this film. Once I took a lengthy pause and was able to gather my thoughts (and stomach) I powered through the second to third act a little more easier…still wincing and taking mini pauses though. 

By the time it was done, I can’t say I enjoyed the movie or would even recommend it to the average watcher. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t merit to be given where it’s due though. 

Robin McLeavy as Lola did a phenomenal job at playing a psycho….she was scaryyyyyyy as heeeeeeelllll😱😱😱 The things she says are so childlike that it automatically sounds eerie within the context and made my skin crawl. I love that the movie at times puts us in her perspective of the situation to grasp just how sick and twisted her fantasies are. The scrapbook of her former victims made me more worried for Brett’s survival and the reveal of what the barely alive victims look like and what creatures they’ve turned into…OH EM GEEEEEEEEEE.

Xavier Samuel as Brent really sold me on the pain he was portraying and John Brumpton as Lola’s dad, Eric, was also a standout with his equally creepy and sadistic performance.

The blood and gore got me. It got me goooood. It was not for the faint of heart. Although, when the sparkling confetti was in the pool of blood, I thought that looked pretty in a weird way. The effects were done really well and was shot in a way that really made me feel the pain alongside Brent.

Speaking of weird - this father/daughter relationship is one step away from a Wrong Turn baby. The movie really found so many ways to fuck with my mind and make me uncomfortable. Also, that mother…😮

The direction of this film was really good overall with the scenes involving Lola, her dad and Brent. There were some interesting angled shots, close-ups and perspectives to put us in the POV of different characters.

Brent’s hair was a choice though. Is that how he liked his hair or was that to indicate his deep depression, because I’m pretty sure many depressed people still get their hair cut and washed. One moment I really liked from him and even got a chuckle from me (which was a much appreciated break from the torture) was when he blew the party horn in that lackluster way. 

It seems amidst the blood and gore, the movie is also touching on the hardships of familial loss because all the characters seem to suffer grief from the loss of their loved ones.

Which brings me to a part of the film I think was unnecessary. The scenes with Jamie and Mia at the prom didn’t really belong in the film. Their story didn’t really serve much of a purpose outside of the connection of Lola’s other victim, Timmy - revealed to be Mia’s brother and the policeman’s son.

There was also too much use of music within the first half. It didn’t feel very intentional. The only time it works is when we’re in Lola’s bedroom and we hear the lyrics of that song. It’s a sugary bubblegum pop ballad with sad lyrics. Which aids to the juxtaposition between the sweetness of pink tones and the darkness of Lola’s insanity. It helps to paint a visual and audible story that tells us things are very off about this whole situation.

With all that said, I am glad I watched the movie. I don’t think I’ll ever watch it again. One and done is perfectly fine by me. I’d only really suggest this film if you’re able to stomach torture and can enjoy a deranged psycho with pink nails 💅🏻 and eyeshadow.

I give this film 3 out of 5 pink paper crowns.

What did you think of this film? Share your thoughts below.


 
 

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Lovers Lane (1999)

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Valentine (2001)